These are the values I hold most dearly:
- Intelligence
- Mindfulness
- Compassion
- Integrity
- Wisdom
- Loyalty
I haven't always valued these things, but as time marches on, I find them to be more and more important. I try to live up to these values every day, in everything I do. I am the only one who can hold myself accountable. If I find myself wavering in my commitment to any of them, I stop what I'm doing and take a moment to think about why I am, and what that means. If I feel as though I've slighted anyone else because of it I make immediate amends.
When it comes to issues of stereotype threat, or any outside stress for that matter, we are often struck dumb by our lack of control over the world. That is the moment when you take yourself aside and have a little chat. I recommend doing this silently, but sometimes doing it out loud is necessary.
The process of affirmation is no joke. It really works, and I am living proof. Whatever we tell ourselves, silently or vocally, we believe. If we spend all of our time beating ourselves up over our failures, then we will continue down the path of negativity. Once we recognize that our self-talk has true power over our lives, we begin down a more productive path. Sure it feels silly at first. That's because we're fighting against a lifetime of naysayers' and pessimists' teachings.
In my estimation, from having spent 20 years working in restaurants, the number one reason that waiters have "bad nights" and don't make money is due to their attitude. Restaurants are a bitter and ugly place to work. They are filled with the underachievers of the world, and most would rather drag you down with them than watch you succeed at following your dream. Despite this, I have learned how to succeed. Today I make more money, as a waiter, than I ever have. I also have less stress than ever before. This is because I set goals, and when they get derailed I do not give up hope. I keep pushing onward. Its only through truly committing to your goals that you can succeed.
Before I end up on a soapbox I'll just say, that stereotype threat is no different than impostor syndrome or any other roadblock that falls between you and your dreams. Overcoming it has more to do with how you think, and what you say to yourself, than any outside force.