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January 4
2015

Dealing with Conflict

Anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant knows that when you first start there is already a complicated political structure in place. Figuring out where, or how, you fit in that structure can be complicated. One significant difference between restaurants and other work environments is that like a sales position, there are a limited number of sales opportunities(tables), but unlike typical sales jobs, most restaurants have evolved into a team-oriented system where "salespeople" are constantly utilizing each other to make more money. Because of this dynamic, cliques are quickly formed and they are as difficult to crack as a high school lunch room.

When I began, as a waiter, the dining room was policied by our Floor Captain. Quickly I recognized that he is a hot-headed veteran or the industry (common in restaurants) that was extremely detailed oriented and knew the correct way to do almost everything. He spent a great deal of time and energy ensuring that everyone was doing their jobs properly, and in particular he focused on the newest staff.

I didn't consider myself a slacker or corner-cutter, but every time I took a moment to relax or didn't complete a task in a timely fashion I was barked at by the authorities. This carried on for the better part of a year. I improved, but it never seemed to be good enough. Once I became competant enough to recognize the best practices I started seeing the cracks in the work-ethic of our Floor Captain and took great pride in pointing out flaws in his performance, as he had been doing to all of us. Needless to say, this didn't make me any friends amongst my superiors, but did gain me notoriety with the staff. As a result he focused more on me, and caused me to shore up my weaknesses. I felt as though I had to be perfect, so that I would be unassailable, in order to fight back.

I continued this aggravating process until one day when I overheard him telling a friend of his that he was unable to find a copy of a particular CD anywhere. I just happened to own this CD, but hadn't listened to it since the invetion of the iPod. The following day I brought it in and gave it to him. I didn't ask for anything in return, and only said, "I heard you were looking for this," when I handed it to him.

Our relationship changed immediately. Instead of being under attack constantly I was being lauded as the standard to which we should all be striving for. On several occasions I was pointed out for having done something exceptional, that I considered ordinary, and I realized that I had evolved into someone to be regarded because of his torment.

In the end, we became friends, and realized that if we combined our abilities of detail orientation we could develop the whole staff into something better than it had been before.